Wednesday, December 10, 2003
A New Creation - Goodbye to the Old
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" - 2 Corinthians 5:17
Last Easter outreach, this messaged preached by Reverend John Tan touched my life. Then, I made recommitted my life to serve the Lord God. Since then, many things have taken a change. As an infant christian, many new challenges arised, many questions, many doubts, many uncertainties. I began doing daily devotions and quiet time, lifting up my prayers to Him and also picking up more worship songs. Today, Reverend John continues with his blessed wife auntie Siew Kuan in sharing the ministry of reconcilliation with the lost, Christians, backslidders and non-Christian alike.
Gradually, I saw my life transforming. There's a peace in my heart that has taken over the place of anger and frustration in my heart. I become more patient especially towards my family, before I was rash and irritated by the persistant nag by my parents and also their lack of understanding for my feelings. I came back to church to worship Him, to commune with God's people, and to grow out of spiritual infancy. My attitudes towards life changed for the better. I began to keep away from sin, obeying the commandments laid before the Lord.
Still, there were many areas in my life still seeking improvements. Many of these were so called "grey" areas. One of the most difficult thing to let go was my crush on a girl. It has been almost a year already. Infatuation took over as an obsession, I spent a lot of time thinking of her, bondage to the world, slave to sin. Many a times I felt distracted from the Lord, especially during my solitary time I spent in quiet meditation and reflection.
To find opportunities to meet her, I also went clubbing, thinking that as long as I'm pure in the heart, not falling to temptation, it was alright to be in the presence of debauchery and indecent acts upon the body. I felt confused and conviction striked upon me. Even as I approached the pub, no matter how much prayer I asked upon the Lord, my heart was still in a mess. I asked if it was right to do so. Now I know. In the eyes of the Lord, all things are probably white or black. He has a plan for us already, plans to prosper and not to harm us, even before we were born to this world, he already had a personal relationship with us. Many "grey" areas pop when we try to depend on our own understanding, or we seek to resolve our own ways. Still, choosing "white" is better than being "grey". Trust in the Lord to lead your ways. When uncertain, it's better to stay off than to venture into unfamilar grounds. I still walk past pubs and social night spots, but I no longer walk into them, nor even peek.
Also, another problem struck me when my friend told me these words. "Most Christians don't live the way they should". From the examples that many Christians are living as myself, we would shame ourselves to be called the children of God. One difficulty I encountered was to overcome the lust of the flesh. We're so exposed to fashion and the standards that the world set, it becomes desensitizing. My friends and I would sometimes go roaming populated areas such as Orchard just to find those that have allurring beauty and tempting looks, thinking it was fine as long as we do not indulge in sexual immorality. Still, it was a distraction and soon it led to an emptiness in the heart, a void in the soul, and my focus wasn't in the Lord. I made a commitment unto the Lord. I would keep my eyes to myself for 7 days (this was just a week before the camp). 7 days wasn't long, nor was it short. Temptation is always present. Every time I encountered a "beauty", I would pray to the Lord to keep me focused on the task at hand. And as the 7 days ended, truly my eyes was liberated from the flesh of the world, no longer a slave to the world once again.
I encourage people to read the book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris. He really puts romance in the right perspective, not by standards set by the world. Then, the most painful decision of my heart was to come when I chose to give up the love of my life. However, in doing so, I found greater love. Somehow, I knew I had to sacrifice my own selfish pursuits in order to continue my growth in faith. My close friends can witness how much struggle I put up with in order to do so, since it was all that meant to me then, even more than my own life which I was willing to lay down for. I frequently share with them openly about this issue. "My one desire is to be with you, Jesus."
After sharing all the above, you may wonder how much impact this made upon my life. I would say that the Lord is faithful in rewarding those who seek righteousness, and one of the best definitions I've followed is "a state of acceptance by God through obedience". My desire to grow out of spiritual infancy had been answered. And the act was through Camp Pulse 03.
Placed as a Team Leader, I was uncertained of what responsibilities I was to carry, what I was going to do. Not forgetting to mention that it was my first time taking a leadership role in the church, but also my first youth camp I was attending! Inexperience and fear of incapability brought many doubts to my mind. Thank God for careful planning made by the camp committee. A pre-camp day was set aside to ask God for strength and empower all the leaders and committee people. A sprit-enriching day, as many would agree, we felt excited and ready for the next. Even as night fell, we sang praise and worship throughout the night, the beginning of acts that would marvel ourselves.
I've never led a group in bible study or quiet time (except for once just a week before when my cell was discussing a topic on "If God is good, then why does evil exists?"). I didn't know what to say, so I guessed I just had to follow the camp booklet with the guidelines. Then, I was prompted to go beyond what was written there. I shared my own testimony and the things that touched me through the message preached after sermon. I knew I couldn't have depended on my own strength to give an account of God's glory, but I believe the Spirit was ministering to them.
Also, thank God for the support that He granted upon me. My team mentor, Angeline was sharp to put me back on the track when I strayed of topic in discussion. Also, she played more than a mentor's role by taking the leading role in many occasions. Pastor Anthony was the spiritual pillar of my group. Witty in suggesting ideas (the chicken idea was his) and also teaching me ways that I may improve as being a leader. His active participation also in the games despite his own agendas and family was encouraging. Not to forget Huiwen, who didn't mind taking up the role of assistant group-leader and being bombarded during the games. The accomplishments of the team wouldn't have been successful also without the enthusiasm and participation of every other team members. Their performance never fails to motivate me to do more for them. Finally, the most important support was from Jesus Himself. Through His example in being master but serving His disciples, that was where I based my example upon to follow, reminding myself always of the time when He washed His disciples' feet.
The Lord strength empowered the camp committee and me throughout the camp. An undying source of energy it was. Through the late nights, I witness the leaders and myself work late even after all were asleep. We even slept later and woke up early to pray and commit everything in God's hands. As the day progressed, everybody was serving in ways called upon the role of duty. Everything is possible throught Christ who strengthens us. On the first day, Alicia expressed difficulties she faced and the Lord responded. By the second day, I could see that she had recovered and playing her role as team leader, even though the task was daunting. Samuel, bearing the role of Camp commandent, was no layman task as just overseeing that duties were met. I could sense him disheartened and weary as I talked to him. However, the next night he was full of zest and energy, even told me he felt like "dancing".
The Lord uses the most unlikely people to work His wonders. By the second day, my voice was coarse and the last it was almost totally gone. Worship was on the next activity. I expressed my desire to sing out praises to the Lord for His glories and riches to Pei En. She prayed for me but in my condition, I was doubtful. I walked into the multi purpose hall, it was in a mess from all the activities occured during the night. Then, I felt a calling that it wouldn't be glorifying to God to worship in a dump. I went ahead to clean up after breakfast. My team offered to help out soon after and I could see God's blessing through the help He bestowed upon me, an unfaithful servant. Then, there was an announcement outside that cleaning up was to be done throughout the whole church. Everybody was down to business and getting order back in things. I just realized that cleaning up was supposed to be after worship, but it was in God's plan that we would cleanup before we enter His presence. When all was cleared up, then worship began.
Although all was worn out after the tidying up and sweaty and perspiring, the worship following up would be a spirit-filled experience I will never forget. The first song was the camp's theme song "Did you feel the mountains tremble". I mouthed out the lyrics quietly, unable to lift up my voice. When it came to the second bridge of the song, right at the point "Fling wide, you heavenly gates", what I would call a miracle occured. I felt the love of God and the presence of the Spirit stirring within me. I couldn't control the tears that were about to stream out from my eyes, and I felt a little embarassing crying out in front of my teammates. I struggled but I let go, for it was the glory of God acting through me. My vocal chords were opened and I began to sing. Those around me were probably surprised when they heard. It was coarse, a little harsh, neither melodious nor sweet, but it was what I would say the most glorifying voice throughout my life, cause I was singing deep from within my heart and I felt God's grace showering upon me.
"All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf. Be reconciled to God." - 2 Corinthians 5:18-20
These verses has always inspired me to set my paths straight and also set a goal for me - to be Christ's ambassador. Live in the way that is glorifying to the Lord and be an example to others just as Jesus Christ has set the example before us. Truly then can we seek the righteousness of God, through He who died on the cross for us. Be sensitive to every issue in life, be it trivial or large, then you will see God's glory working. Be patient and keep a close walk with Him through quiet time and meditation. Never be reluctant to pray (so many times have I avoid praying as I feel insecure.) and thank God who showers blessings but also for the hardships going through. God rewards those who are faithful in serving Him (1 Samuel 26:23), and His promises are everlasting (Joshua 21:45). You never know when will be the day He’ll use you to perform His works.
Even as I share this testimony with you reading this, I cannot express how many things God has blessed me, be it through the trivial and major matters in life. My computer is spoilt and I'm unable to write all this. However, the Lord provided me with an avenue. He opened up the doors of my neighbour for me to use their computer to send this message out. It's late at night and I wouldn't have any chance to share this with you sooner because I'm enlisting into army early tomorrow. Furthermore, I feel a prompting to share my testimony with more, even though it isn't a major reform like a drug addict becoming a pastor or a serial murderer repenting from his sins. Still, God works in many ways and I continue to pray He'll make a difference in your life through mine. All glory be to God.
This isn't the end of my testimony, it is just the beginning. I trust in the Lord that He has plans far bigger than I can imagine. When I go into NS, I will have to continue to grow in my personal walk with Christ, and I know this is in God's plan to take me away from serving first before I can attain the next level in growth of spiritual maturity. Those who know me or don't know me, please pray for me, that the fire and passion will continue to blaze for Christ. Also, if this testimony is of any use, share it with others too so that the blessings God showered upon me may be used to bless others too.
(Oh I lost 3kg during the camp... just checked out on the weight balance. Thank God again!)
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" - 2 Corinthians 5:17
Last Easter outreach, this messaged preached by Reverend John Tan touched my life. Then, I made recommitted my life to serve the Lord God. Since then, many things have taken a change. As an infant christian, many new challenges arised, many questions, many doubts, many uncertainties. I began doing daily devotions and quiet time, lifting up my prayers to Him and also picking up more worship songs. Today, Reverend John continues with his blessed wife auntie Siew Kuan in sharing the ministry of reconcilliation with the lost, Christians, backslidders and non-Christian alike.
Gradually, I saw my life transforming. There's a peace in my heart that has taken over the place of anger and frustration in my heart. I become more patient especially towards my family, before I was rash and irritated by the persistant nag by my parents and also their lack of understanding for my feelings. I came back to church to worship Him, to commune with God's people, and to grow out of spiritual infancy. My attitudes towards life changed for the better. I began to keep away from sin, obeying the commandments laid before the Lord.
Still, there were many areas in my life still seeking improvements. Many of these were so called "grey" areas. One of the most difficult thing to let go was my crush on a girl. It has been almost a year already. Infatuation took over as an obsession, I spent a lot of time thinking of her, bondage to the world, slave to sin. Many a times I felt distracted from the Lord, especially during my solitary time I spent in quiet meditation and reflection.
To find opportunities to meet her, I also went clubbing, thinking that as long as I'm pure in the heart, not falling to temptation, it was alright to be in the presence of debauchery and indecent acts upon the body. I felt confused and conviction striked upon me. Even as I approached the pub, no matter how much prayer I asked upon the Lord, my heart was still in a mess. I asked if it was right to do so. Now I know. In the eyes of the Lord, all things are probably white or black. He has a plan for us already, plans to prosper and not to harm us, even before we were born to this world, he already had a personal relationship with us. Many "grey" areas pop when we try to depend on our own understanding, or we seek to resolve our own ways. Still, choosing "white" is better than being "grey". Trust in the Lord to lead your ways. When uncertain, it's better to stay off than to venture into unfamilar grounds. I still walk past pubs and social night spots, but I no longer walk into them, nor even peek.
Also, another problem struck me when my friend told me these words. "Most Christians don't live the way they should". From the examples that many Christians are living as myself, we would shame ourselves to be called the children of God. One difficulty I encountered was to overcome the lust of the flesh. We're so exposed to fashion and the standards that the world set, it becomes desensitizing. My friends and I would sometimes go roaming populated areas such as Orchard just to find those that have allurring beauty and tempting looks, thinking it was fine as long as we do not indulge in sexual immorality. Still, it was a distraction and soon it led to an emptiness in the heart, a void in the soul, and my focus wasn't in the Lord. I made a commitment unto the Lord. I would keep my eyes to myself for 7 days (this was just a week before the camp). 7 days wasn't long, nor was it short. Temptation is always present. Every time I encountered a "beauty", I would pray to the Lord to keep me focused on the task at hand. And as the 7 days ended, truly my eyes was liberated from the flesh of the world, no longer a slave to the world once again.
I encourage people to read the book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris. He really puts romance in the right perspective, not by standards set by the world. Then, the most painful decision of my heart was to come when I chose to give up the love of my life. However, in doing so, I found greater love. Somehow, I knew I had to sacrifice my own selfish pursuits in order to continue my growth in faith. My close friends can witness how much struggle I put up with in order to do so, since it was all that meant to me then, even more than my own life which I was willing to lay down for. I frequently share with them openly about this issue. "My one desire is to be with you, Jesus."
After sharing all the above, you may wonder how much impact this made upon my life. I would say that the Lord is faithful in rewarding those who seek righteousness, and one of the best definitions I've followed is "a state of acceptance by God through obedience". My desire to grow out of spiritual infancy had been answered. And the act was through Camp Pulse 03.
Placed as a Team Leader, I was uncertained of what responsibilities I was to carry, what I was going to do. Not forgetting to mention that it was my first time taking a leadership role in the church, but also my first youth camp I was attending! Inexperience and fear of incapability brought many doubts to my mind. Thank God for careful planning made by the camp committee. A pre-camp day was set aside to ask God for strength and empower all the leaders and committee people. A sprit-enriching day, as many would agree, we felt excited and ready for the next. Even as night fell, we sang praise and worship throughout the night, the beginning of acts that would marvel ourselves.
I've never led a group in bible study or quiet time (except for once just a week before when my cell was discussing a topic on "If God is good, then why does evil exists?"). I didn't know what to say, so I guessed I just had to follow the camp booklet with the guidelines. Then, I was prompted to go beyond what was written there. I shared my own testimony and the things that touched me through the message preached after sermon. I knew I couldn't have depended on my own strength to give an account of God's glory, but I believe the Spirit was ministering to them.
Also, thank God for the support that He granted upon me. My team mentor, Angeline was sharp to put me back on the track when I strayed of topic in discussion. Also, she played more than a mentor's role by taking the leading role in many occasions. Pastor Anthony was the spiritual pillar of my group. Witty in suggesting ideas (the chicken idea was his) and also teaching me ways that I may improve as being a leader. His active participation also in the games despite his own agendas and family was encouraging. Not to forget Huiwen, who didn't mind taking up the role of assistant group-leader and being bombarded during the games. The accomplishments of the team wouldn't have been successful also without the enthusiasm and participation of every other team members. Their performance never fails to motivate me to do more for them. Finally, the most important support was from Jesus Himself. Through His example in being master but serving His disciples, that was where I based my example upon to follow, reminding myself always of the time when He washed His disciples' feet.
The Lord strength empowered the camp committee and me throughout the camp. An undying source of energy it was. Through the late nights, I witness the leaders and myself work late even after all were asleep. We even slept later and woke up early to pray and commit everything in God's hands. As the day progressed, everybody was serving in ways called upon the role of duty. Everything is possible throught Christ who strengthens us. On the first day, Alicia expressed difficulties she faced and the Lord responded. By the second day, I could see that she had recovered and playing her role as team leader, even though the task was daunting. Samuel, bearing the role of Camp commandent, was no layman task as just overseeing that duties were met. I could sense him disheartened and weary as I talked to him. However, the next night he was full of zest and energy, even told me he felt like "dancing".
The Lord uses the most unlikely people to work His wonders. By the second day, my voice was coarse and the last it was almost totally gone. Worship was on the next activity. I expressed my desire to sing out praises to the Lord for His glories and riches to Pei En. She prayed for me but in my condition, I was doubtful. I walked into the multi purpose hall, it was in a mess from all the activities occured during the night. Then, I felt a calling that it wouldn't be glorifying to God to worship in a dump. I went ahead to clean up after breakfast. My team offered to help out soon after and I could see God's blessing through the help He bestowed upon me, an unfaithful servant. Then, there was an announcement outside that cleaning up was to be done throughout the whole church. Everybody was down to business and getting order back in things. I just realized that cleaning up was supposed to be after worship, but it was in God's plan that we would cleanup before we enter His presence. When all was cleared up, then worship began.
Although all was worn out after the tidying up and sweaty and perspiring, the worship following up would be a spirit-filled experience I will never forget. The first song was the camp's theme song "Did you feel the mountains tremble". I mouthed out the lyrics quietly, unable to lift up my voice. When it came to the second bridge of the song, right at the point "Fling wide, you heavenly gates", what I would call a miracle occured. I felt the love of God and the presence of the Spirit stirring within me. I couldn't control the tears that were about to stream out from my eyes, and I felt a little embarassing crying out in front of my teammates. I struggled but I let go, for it was the glory of God acting through me. My vocal chords were opened and I began to sing. Those around me were probably surprised when they heard. It was coarse, a little harsh, neither melodious nor sweet, but it was what I would say the most glorifying voice throughout my life, cause I was singing deep from within my heart and I felt God's grace showering upon me.
"All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf. Be reconciled to God." - 2 Corinthians 5:18-20
These verses has always inspired me to set my paths straight and also set a goal for me - to be Christ's ambassador. Live in the way that is glorifying to the Lord and be an example to others just as Jesus Christ has set the example before us. Truly then can we seek the righteousness of God, through He who died on the cross for us. Be sensitive to every issue in life, be it trivial or large, then you will see God's glory working. Be patient and keep a close walk with Him through quiet time and meditation. Never be reluctant to pray (so many times have I avoid praying as I feel insecure.) and thank God who showers blessings but also for the hardships going through. God rewards those who are faithful in serving Him (1 Samuel 26:23), and His promises are everlasting (Joshua 21:45). You never know when will be the day He’ll use you to perform His works.
Even as I share this testimony with you reading this, I cannot express how many things God has blessed me, be it through the trivial and major matters in life. My computer is spoilt and I'm unable to write all this. However, the Lord provided me with an avenue. He opened up the doors of my neighbour for me to use their computer to send this message out. It's late at night and I wouldn't have any chance to share this with you sooner because I'm enlisting into army early tomorrow. Furthermore, I feel a prompting to share my testimony with more, even though it isn't a major reform like a drug addict becoming a pastor or a serial murderer repenting from his sins. Still, God works in many ways and I continue to pray He'll make a difference in your life through mine. All glory be to God.
This isn't the end of my testimony, it is just the beginning. I trust in the Lord that He has plans far bigger than I can imagine. When I go into NS, I will have to continue to grow in my personal walk with Christ, and I know this is in God's plan to take me away from serving first before I can attain the next level in growth of spiritual maturity. Those who know me or don't know me, please pray for me, that the fire and passion will continue to blaze for Christ. Also, if this testimony is of any use, share it with others too so that the blessings God showered upon me may be used to bless others too.
(Oh I lost 3kg during the camp... just checked out on the weight balance. Thank God again!)
